Community Corner

Moms Talk Around Town: Lice, Nut-free Schools, Tough Love

Here's what moms around the area had to say in last week's Moms Talk Q-and-A, from school policies on head lice to nut-free zones. Join the conversation!

What moms are talking about in southeast Michigan:

In Rochester:

Lucy said: "You can tell a parent that lice are no big deal, but if you've ever dealt with a head lice infestation, you know this is simply not true. Lice can bring even the strongest person to their knees."

Anna said: "Parents NEED to know what is going on in the schools, regardless! We need to be able to help and treat and check on our own children — so shame on anyone that says parents should not be notified."

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In Farmington:

 

Marquel said: "What happens when that child goes into the grocery store and there are free samples of cookies that contain nuts? How does that child with life-threatening allergies survive that but cannot sit across a cafeteria from a child eating a peanut butter sandwich? I certainly don't want to alienate any children, but this will never be a nut-free world, so I don't support a nut-free school. ... I think it starts at home, teaching the child how to protect themselves and taking precautions that are reasonable and support the needs of the majority. "

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Mom 22 said: "Children with severe allergies in elementary school do need and deserve to have a safe environment in which they can learn. ... As children with allergies mature, learn how to cope in the real world (they simply don't eat free samples, their parents carry wipes to wipe down tables and seats at restaurants and movie theaters and are never without EpiPens and Benadryl) and are legally able to carry epinephrine on their own, the responsibility naturally shifts as children get older to learn how to stay safe in a world where peanuts are a part of daily life. It's about minimizing the risk in ensuring a safer environment at school for young, food-allergic children before they can understand and navigate an allergy-filled world on their own. We all want our children to be in a safe environment and, hopefully, to learn empathy for others who face challenges."

In Birmingham: 

In response to a Florida mother who forced her son to stand on a street corner with a sign around his neck proclaiming his poor grades, we asked: 

Pam said: "As a general comment, tough love probably isn't a bad thing, if a situation warrants, and you've exhausted all other options."

Martha said: "From all I've read, humiliation is about the absolute worst element you can bring into disciplining a child. You'll do more to damage their psyche than teach them a lesson. As the mother of six, I definitely find each of my kids responds to discipline differently, so I definitely dial it up and down accordingly (as well as the misdemeanor on hand)."

In Brighton:

Stacy said: "Peer pressure has been a problem for forever, but now with the Internet, even the kids considered to have few friends in real life have them online, and they are finding more and more ways to obtain illegal substances. I have a connection at Brighton Hospital, and heroin is THE drug right now with young people. My daughter is in fifth grade, and we have had these talks. She is aware that I am aware, and I think that is step one."

In Plymouth/Canton:

Tamara said: "Like most parenting issues, this starts from what you teach your child as a baby and all the way through their teen years. If you consistently teach your children how to properly treat other people, and also give them a good example to learn from, they would probably not engage in this type of thing. If you go further and teach your child how to be a friend and a leader, they may also be able to help others in bully situations."

 

In Fenton:

Vera said: "I know it will be hard to do, but when your son throws a tantrum, ignore him. Keep him in your sights out of the corner of your eye so he doesn't hurt himself or choke from crying, but carry on with your tasks, and pretty soon he will learn that he does not have an audience. When all else fails — and I admit this is a cheap trick — force yourself to cry. Believe me, when a little boy sees his mommy crying, he stops in his tracks. When he asks you why you're crying, tell him you're sad because you know he is a very good boy, but don't know what you did to make him misbehave in such a way. Then ask him for a hug and tell him you love him very much. He will respond."

Kristina said: "Vera, I am glad to hear that I am not alone. I have actually cried in front of him — and it wasn't fake, he was just pushing me to my limits. He didn't react at all. That was awhile ago, and I had decided that I wouldn't do that in case he liked the reaction and would continue to try to work me up to that point."

Donna said: "Keep it simple. Do what you say you will do. Don't threaten. Just do it."

In Ferndale:

Allow him or her to be home alone? What do you look for when you are deeming your child responsible enough to be home alone?

Lisa said: "Granted, my children are 3 and younger, so I have awhile to go, but I can't wait to be able to just run to the corner store without them! I think I was about 10 when I was left alone for short periods of time."

Craig Covey said: "Knowing how I was as a teen, I would say ... 23."

Mary said: "Maturity has to be the most important criteria, but I wouldn't leave my baby with a child younger than 14, at least. It also depends on where you will be and how long you leave them. ... Younger children are more likely to panic in a crisis situation. I think kids tend to have a more level head around high school age. I also think they can command more respect from the older children."

Elizabeth said: "It depends on the kids, where you are going, how soon you will be home. I had an advantage. My parents live at the other end of the block, and I had wonderful neighbors. Even so.. I think my oldest was in sixth grade. That was for short amounts of time. Isn't there a law that says until a certain age, you can not leave your kids alone?"

In Royal Oak:

Terri said: "I think having a community pool would be a great asset to our town. People of all ages could enjoy the benefits of swimming. It would be an asset to our property values to have a community pool. Other cities surrounding us have their own pools; Royal Oak residents are putting money in other communities to have access to their pools. It gives our young people a safe place to go and a place for our community to gather."

Suzanne said: "My young teen son spends time with a friend at another neighboring city with a community pool. In fact, that is where he took his swimming lessons. I would much rather have paid the money to a facility in my neighborhood and skip the few-mile drive. ... At a time when money is tight, I would be more than willing to pay a membership fee to have first access to classes and swim time and a place to socialize with others."

Mark said: "The idea for a community pool in Royal Oak is ridiculous. If you want to swim, there is LA Fitness."


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