After Birmingham Public Schools implemented Power School — the digital tool that lets parents view their children’s grades anytime they want — it was almost as exciting as winning a lifetime supply of Starbucks gift cards. Finally, not only could I tether my kids to me through the transmission of frequent text messages, I could hound them online by checking their grades. It was especially nice on days I longed for a distraction from real work other than Facebook. I could log into either of our kids' accounts — one of whom is now a college freshman, the other a high school junior — and see how…

Before my daughter hit the middle-school years, she was in love with dolls and princesses and the color pink. She also yelled "Mommy" with such enthusiasm when I got home from work that I felt like she was giving me a lovely bouquet of daffodils. So it took some getting used to when she turned 11, chucked the dolls and no longer greeted me like a long-lost friend. This was never clearer than when my husband and I took our kids to Florida one spring break. I thought the trip would be good for us, like Vitamin C. Our daughter was 12, our son, 10, and it was our first trip to Florida as a family…

Our son, a junior at Seaholm High School, will spend the year focusing on the college admissions process. Because our daughter, a freshman at Michigan State, was a solid standardized test taker, we didn’t think it was all that important to push ACT prep “classes” on her if she wasn’t receptive. But after going through the process of calculating grades, plus ACT scores, plus starting a food co-op in Sub-Saharan Africa, which equals varying probabilities of getting into this-that-or-the-other college, we may take them more seriously the second time around. The preparation for college wasn’t so …

Whenever I run my trifecta of errands at Target, Charter One Bank and Kroger’s near Adams and Maple roads, the highlight is often grocery shopping, a task I approach with considerable optimism. It must have something to do with the gathering of food, even if I’m not much good at cooking it. Maybe it goes back to my own mother. Even though she worked, she seemed to enjoy the process of meal planning and stocking the kitchen with essentials. She'd figure out what meals she was going to make, then jot the ingredients along with the usual staples — bread, milk, eggs, Miracle Whip and other stuff …

After a month or two of summer, I’m usually ready to for school to begin. Maybe I like the discipline it requires because at some point, I flail at the lack of structure. Not so this summer, because this is our daughter’s last at home before she leaves for Michigan State in a few weeks. And while that’s exciting, I think I’m going to miss her. I always thought I’d be enthused for this moment. Finally, I’d have time to, oh, I don’t know, do a few things I hadn’t done before such as take tap dancing lessons or, call me crazy, join the Republican Party ... at least they're disciplined. But …

I finally got around to reading Tina Fey’s recent memoir, Bossy Pants, in between stressing over graduation party minutia and frequent trips to Birmingham’s Starbucks for decaffeinated skinny vanilla lattes. Oh, what a satisfying read it is. She not only writes about her career in comedy as the first female head writer for Saturday Night Live, she also touches on the topic of motherhood in her typically sardonic way. I was amused by a chapter called “The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter” in which she slyly acknowledges the challenges of parenting a generation amidst the glassy stares of …

I’m not a big fan of throwing parties, although we are obligated to throw a few each year. The one that requires the most work is Thanksgiving, where we host 25 people for the traditional turkey dinner. However, we are having a party to surpass all others this summer -- my daughter’s high school graduation-from-Seaholm party. The advantage to hosting Thanksgiving is that I’ve got it down to a science, especially since all the major attendees are so predictable: they always ask if they can bring a food offering. As someone who’s happy to take advantage of anyone else’s cooking skills, I …

My son will be getting his driver’s license this month after he passes a road test with the Birmingham Driving School. He was also required to complete 50 hours of driving time, which meant I (or my husband) had to sit in the passenger seat while he drove. I knew it was best if I remained calm, but it was easy to “freak out” every time he did something wrong. When my daughter received her driver’s permit a couple of years ago, I was going to be a supportive, well-behaved passenger who wouldn’t overreact when the novice driver made little mistakes. That’s right. Channeling Richard Simmons’ …

I was late to the Starbucks Revolution. I never liked strong coffee, and theirs tasted like it could fuel nuclear warfare. After a few sips, I was ready to dump it in the nearest receptacle. Several years ago, I was introduced to a nifty little brew made with hot apple cider, caramel and whipped cream — not at a Starbucks, but at some young upstart competitor's establishment. Oh, my, it was good. I remember sipping this wonderful beverage whilst the whipped cream tenderly kissed my lips, and oh, boy, yum. The hot apple cider and caramel combined to make a wickedly delightful concoction, …

For most of my parenting years, I was a mom who worked away from home, with co-workers, meetings and my very own cubicle. As working moms do though, I wondered what it would be like to stay home; especially when I ran errands on my lunch hour and watched other moms push strollers carrying toddlers and sippy cups. Like a sorority for stay-at-home mothers, they were chatty, relaxed and presumably in no hurry to get back to an office. It looked like a nice thing to do in the middle of the day. As our kids got older, I continued to fantasize about staying home; particularly on days when I had to …

I always thought I’d be ecstatic when we sent our firstborn off to college — not as in, "Thank goodness she’s gone," but more, "Yay, she’s onto a great adventure, good for her, we can all relax and watch her grow into a fine young woman." Now that it’s getting closer (she’s off to Michigan State University in the fall), I’m not sure I am all that relaxed. Thanks to the Internet, there’s a lot of information online about the environment we’re sending our children into. Much of it is good and gives young adults opportunities to experience freedom, independence, friendship, learning and growing …

If I'm away from electronic gadgets or social media sites for long, I wonder what I’m missing by not logging into Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter every five minutes. It's interesting because I don’t consider myself a very social person. I know I'm missing something, though. It might be the latest Charlie Sheen controversy courtesy of the Detroit News on my Facebook feed, or a funny tweet from Return-to-Work-Mom. Heck, I'm afraid I'll miss daily e-mails from Kohl's or Borders or Groupon, even though I delete most before I view them. I really hadn't counted on getting sucked into the whole high-…

Seaholm High School's Character Education Committee hosted a screening of the documentary, The Race to Nowhere, on March 22. The movie was produced by Vicki Abeles, a former Wall Street lawyer-turned-filmmaker who started paying attention to her own kids' stress levels after a 13-year-old girl in their community committed suicide. No one knew why this young girl — an active, involved, straight-A student — took her own life. But it tipped off the filmmaker to stress-induced headaches, stomachaches and sleepless nights in what seemed like a race for a limited number of spots at top colleges. As…

I’ve mentioned several times that we are sending our firstborn off to college in the fall. Oh, the places she'll go, the freedom she'll have, the independence she'll need as she rises for 8 a.m. classes, gets along with a roommate, studies, reads, plans, and does her own laundry. Oops. We still have to teach her to do laundry. It seems she was so busy building a resume (because no one should leave high school without a long list of accomplishments) that we forgot to show her how to separate the white clothes from the dark. If I remember correctly, I knew how to do laundry by the time I was in…

When my husband and I ask our two high school-aged kids what they want to be when they “grow up,” they often respond like stumped game show contestants. I'm always hoping they'll find a perfect match between stuff that comes naturally to them and a career-of-their-dreams occupation. But I also want them to have jobs, especially after four (or five or six) years of college. Choosing a course of study that won't make recruiters pant with anticipation is a bit unsettling. That's where I'd hoped Birmingham Public Schools' Educational Development Plan —a sophisticated process that starts in eighth…

There was one piece of advice from a "transition-to-middle-school" workshop that Birmingham Public Schools put on several years ago that always stuck with me: "Let your child feel pain." That was a tough one. Let your child feel pain. What mom or dad wants their child to feel pain? The speaker was referring to the teenager's ability to process painful situations, such as a break-up with a first girlfriend or boyfriend, without resorting to drugs or alcohol; and that kids who did this successfully were less likely to resort to substance abuse or experience serious depression, both of which …

I swore off parenting books a long time ago. Either I tried to implement the advice, but couldn't foist it on my kids. Or it ran so counter to my instincts, I didn't bother trying. Guess I'd just do things my own way.  Maybe practice a bit of benign neglect. Take that, parenting books. After years of freedom from any and all books on How-to-be-a-Good-Parent, I stumbled upon Lenore Skenazy's blog, Free-Range Kids. In 2009, Skenazy let her 9-year-old son ride the New York City subway by himself, then wrote about it for the New York Sun. After the story came out, she was dubbed "America's Worst …

It’s interesting the debates you find when you troll the Internet. (Not that I troll much. Really. I'm far too productive for that.) But I have stumbled upon a few where parents have argued whether you should request teachers for your kids. Apparently, some schools are very open to the idea, and often grant parents' requests for certain teachers. The thinking seems to be that parents know their kids better than anyone; therefore, let them pick who will be teaching their child. Others don't allow it at all, feeling that teachers and administrators put a lot of thought into making class lists, …

I can't say I completely enjoyed reading to our children at night when they were in elementary school, horrible parent that I am. However, I did read, especially with 20 minutes of daily, at-home reading required by the Birmingham Public Schools. All logged on a signed, sealed and delivered chart, proving that yet another child wouldn't be left behind. I always imagined other moms and dads reading to their kids like champs, acting out the story, varying their tone for dramatic effect, while my mind drifted to milk that was certain to run out soon if I didn't get to the store, or spreadsheets …

Though I didn't read every word in a recent eNews letter from Birmingham Public Schools (I'm a great skimmer), my eye caught the section from the Birmingham Bloomfield Community Coalition (BBCC) with tips on substance abuse prevention. Such a dramatic topic, and yet I'm relieved our two teens don't seem caught up in the party culture. (So far. Knock on wood.) Not because we're perfect parents, though — that would be apparent after you see how much, uh, "spunk" we tolerate. But it could be because my husband and I just don't drink.  It isn't like we belong to some crazy religious sect that …