After Birmingham Public Schools implemented Power School — the digital tool that lets parents view their children’s grades anytime they want — it was almost as exciting as winning a lifetime supply of Starbucks gift cards. Finally, not only could I tether my kids to me through the transmission of frequent text messages, I could hound them online by checking their grades.

It was especially nice on days I longed for a distraction from real work other than Facebook. I could log into either of our kids' accounts — one of whom is now a college freshman, the other a high school junior — and see how they did on a test or quiz. Multiple times a day, if I got carried away.

The problem was the whole experience turned into a weekly episode of High Anxiety. Sometimes, I felt like the grades were mine and I had a personal responsibility to cheerlead, monitor and cajole our kids into various levels of achievement. Yes, they knew my husband and I could see their grades: we didn't have to pry them out of the kids or wait until parent/teacher conferences for surprises.

But sometimes I think I focused too much on grades and didn’t give enough thought to other experiences and whether or not the children were turning into decent human beings. Did a grade tell me if they’d been nice to someone? Did it tell me if they kept their eyes on their own papers during final exams? Did it tell me that they actually got along with the hard teacher, or, would — God forbid — grow up to be ax murderers?

So why was it so tempting to singularly focus on a grade? Maybe because the hallmark of good parenting these days seems to be producing academically successful children, and grades have become cherished possessions like fine art or a Ford Mustang.

But I suspect all of this concern takes away from allowing them to experience the highs and lows, the causes and effects, of personal decisions and experiences. As in: If I don't read the summer book assignment, I won't do as well on the test. Or maybe: I don't like science but I really like Elizabethan literature. Or: If I really, really need it, it’s okay to ask for help from the teacher.

Maybe it's better for them to leave the safe environs of high school with a cart full of self-knowledge than a perfect GPA, not that there's anything wrong with a perfect GPA. Knowing yourself comes in handy when choosing a college major or sucking up to a boss.

Certainly, I don’t want to minimize the importance of grades because they do have an impact on the college admissions process, although I imagine there’s a college for everyone. And it is true that grades are a reflection of effort even if it takes years for kids to make that connection.

But I try not to lose sight of the fact that even though we can’t see online everything else kids do learn, I’m pretty sure our kids won’t advance in life on grades alone — as long as there are no signs of either turning into an ax murderer.